02/02/18:  Hello: Superbowl weekend! You probably have a big party going on at your grandparents. I wanted to congratulate Abby on making the honor roll! I always check the paper for any tidbits on you two – I’M SO PROUD!! Super super awesome job – keep up the good work Abby it means so much to me that you’re doing well in school. I love you two so much and think about you more than you’ll know. Keep warm and hopefully you’ve avoided the flu this winter – it’s really bad. Have a nice weekend..

Love Dad

01/26/18:  Hi Ladies: Hard to believe Kayla’s going to be 16 in eleven days, OMG! I was looking through some old pictures – I really miss all the weekends we’d hang out. You don’t know how much you enjoyed it until you don’t do it anymore. Here’s a pic from 6 years ago on one of our many weekends together playing indoor golf with Aunt Elaine and her now hubby Ken. Hope things are good.

Much love,
Dad

01/13/18:  Hello Girls: I hope you’re keeping warm! It’s been super cold except for a couple of 50+ degree days. Hopefully school is going well – it’ll be mid-term exams for you before you know it. Here’s a pic of us out from almost 7 years ago this week! I miss our dinners out and long talks – Love you both bunches!

01/01/18:  Happy New Year Ladies! I caught the flu but managed to go to a little party to celebrate the end of 2017 ..but crashed early. It’s sure been a busy year for you guys, moving, getting settled in a new place, Abby in middle school, Kayla a sophomore in high school, both of you being involved in church, Kayla’s braces coming off and much more I’m sure. 2018 is going to be a great year too – first thing that comes to mind is Kayla turning sweet 16!! I’m so excited for you. I saw this post card you both sent me when you went to the Outer Banks, read your words to me carefully. I love you both and know that my numbers & email haven’t changed you can text, call or send me a message anytime.

12/24/17:  It’s Christmas eve – I’ve been thinking about you both so much – Merry Christmas I love you and miss you both so much.

Love Dad

11/22/17:  I was going through some old pictures and I saw this one after one of your soccer games which also reminded me of the times we used to hang out in the hot tub after. I miss those hot tub nights when we’d play music, watch fire flies in the woods, watch high school musical DVDs and just talk & laugh. We all slept so great after we’d spend a night in there. Hope school is going well – you’ll both be on Christmas break before you know it. Hopefully you’re all settled in your new place. I’ll write again really soon – work has been ridiculously busy but a good distraction I guess. Hugs & kisses! Dad

10/30/17:  It was recently brought to my attention that you’re on Instagram and my friend reached out to you as a gesture of goodwill to let you know how much I miss both of you. The visceral hate you expressed for me completely blows me away. There is absolutely nothing I am guilty of other than loving both of you. I have done nothing to warrant this level of scorn from either of you. I also don’t believe for a minute that you have zero memories of the first 13 years of your life with me and the thousands of hours we spent together. I’m sorry that your mother and grandmother went to such extreme levels to totally and completely contaminate anything you girls currently remember about me – they will have to deal with their God when it’s their time – it’s not my problem. You and your sister are all I care about (and I don’t care if you don’t believe me and I will never stop loving and reaching out to you with this blog and once you turn legal age). I will always be your father – we share the same blood – same looks – same characteristics – same genes – you get it – and I will always accept you back into my life whether it’s sooner or 10 years from now. You always asked me why we got divorced and I told you when you’re older I’d tell you – I guess you’re old enough from what I’ve seen. You deserve to hear my end of the story – the absolute truth. By the way, I reached out to your mother before posting this asking for her to meet with me to make peace now that all the money & court issues are resolved and she said she had no interest in discussing anything and said “just come and sign adoption papers” period. I told her we could agree to never speak about the past and how wonderful and blessed you could both be to have two men in your life who love you -however, her never ending hatred for me will probably follow her to the grave. That’s sad and unhealthy for her to carry such feelings but that’s none of my concern. If you’re holding on to fabricated hate in your hearts – let it go – it’s not healthy. Do you honestly believe for all those years – every other weekend – all the things we did – nonstop from school functions, homework, projects we all did together, cooking meals together, going to the movies, quiet movie nights at home, hanging out in the hot tub, playing tennis – teaching you both to play tennis as a matter of fact -teaching you both to ride bikes and all our hours of bike riding, all the holidays together, trips to Canada, weekly frozen yogurt visits, tons of theater and plays we’ve been too, the commercial for the jewelry place in Cheektowaga you did (that was super cool), all the board games we played, video games – guitar hero, going to all the department stores and letting you dress up for fun, sleepovers with my friends kids (which you sure seemed to enjoy), all the fashion shows I took you two too, all the creative things we’d do together, all the New Year’s Eve celebrations where we’d watch our year in review video together, all the trips to Hamburg for Christmas in the Country, the Buffalo Zoo, simple walks along the waterfront, our vacation to see Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber in Philadelphia, Kayla’s first time on a scary rollercoaster (I was so proud of her) and Abby on the scary ride at Darien Lake where we got flung in the air in that little ball, the castle we visited on the way back, all the Halloweens we spent together and dressed up for – and you think I was faking it? You think I was just putting on a show? You think I didn’t love you? I think you need to hear my end of things because the level of brainwashing and possible memory erasing that’s obviously occurred comes from a place I can’t even begin to comprehend. No one who showed you all the love and affection I did deserves to be treated like a Dad who you say just “chose to be out of your lives”.

Ever since I was in my 20s I wanted to set up my life so I could work from home and watch my children grow. I dated a lot of girls and when I met your mom she showered me with love and affection to levels I had never experienced before. Your grandmother, grandfather, great-grandmother (Grandma Babe), and Kevin loved me to death. It was great. After dating a year I popped the question and we were married in 2000. Marriage was hard like most people say but nothing horrible. The only thing I was guilty of while we were married was working too much but I was home every night working in the basement (where our home office was) and you’d even come down and I’d take breaks and we’d play. Maybe you remember that wood slide I made by hand that you’d play on that would serve as a castle when we’d play dolls together. I stayed up every night for two years because Kayla didn’t sleep good at night and while I worked Kayla would sit there in the bouncy chair just starring at me while I did paperwork and then I’d sleep from 7am till 1pm. Most stay at home moms wouldn’t have it that good. But that wasn’t good enough. Fast forward to 2005. I started noticing things weren’t right – money kept disappearing and your mother was spending a tremendous amount of cash but I had no idea on what. When I caught her red-handed (you can ask her about the $100 she took out of the property tax envelope), she of course denied it – then when I told her I had counted it twice and stared her in the eyes – she confessed. One day when I came home from being out inspecting properties instead of letting the door slam shut behind me I heard your mom talking to your grandmother and I just waited to hear what it was about. I was shocked to hear her say “if it wasn’t for the kids I wouldn’t stay” and lots of negative talk about me and our relationship. Your grandmother and mother would always talk about everyone in the family, your Aunt Katie’s relationship with your Uncle Joe (always negative talk), gossipy talk about your grandfather’s sisters, etc. I always thought it was odd but what did I know I had hardly any family dynamic being an only child. Your grandparents were always over and we never had a chance to bond as a family and it annoyed me beyond belief and when I spoke to your mother about it – all she would do is give me attitude because she didn’t see it that way. Part of what I overheard was your mother bashing me to your grandmother and Aunt Katie and I heard enough to really make me question her love for me. Did she love the lifestyle more than me? (She actually confirmed that in a subsequent conversation with your grandmother). Everyday around the 3 o’clock hour I’d listen as much as I could because I really wanted to make sure that maybe that day walking in I wasn’t just catching your mom on a “bad day”. Oh no – there’s no way I heard wrong – your mother was miserable with me and everything she told your mom and aunt was basically setting herself up for an eventual break up. Make Mike the bad guy – make Colleen the victim. I blame your grandmother for not giving your mom advice on things she could do to make the marriage happier – advice to make things better -not sneaky ways to steal from me and do things behind my back. I can’t prove what your grandmother said but from the responses your mother gave – let’s just say you wouldn’t need to be a rocket scientist to know what it was about. Her actions spoke louder than words. Most certainly, your mom didn’t give anyone truthful information to base getting good advice on – but one thing I know for sure – your grandmother should have NEVER allowed your mom to have credit card and other bills/statements sent to her house in YOUR MOM’S MAIDEN NAME (behind my back) – deceit is a sure fire way to end a relationship. I’ll never forgive your grandmother for that. We also went to marriage counseling and that was a joke – when I found out your mother was using her maiden name and having things sent that were purchased on my credit with FAMILY money that I worked 15 hours a day for to your grandmothers – that was it. I had to see a lawyer. The more lies and conceit I caught her in – the more I knew I had to do something. I never ever wanted to be divorced. I wanted to be so wrong about your Mom and her family. If any reasonable person heard all the conspiring that I heard between your mother and your grandmother – they’d be sick to their stomach. I remember hearing your grandmother ask something about “did you get the money or loose change from his desk” and your mother acknowledged that she did and they talked about rolling the loose change.. ugh pathetic. It was so hard for me to keep my composure when we’d get together for Sunday dinners – as a matter of fact I tried to get out of those as often as I could because I couldn’t stand the phoniness. It reminds me of how you both would complain to me that your mom was taking money out of your piggy banks just 4 or 5 years ago. My lawyer and friends told me that I shouldn’t spend the rest of my life in a loveless marriage. I hired an investigator to confirm even more deceitful actions and to top it off – your mom even snatched the letter from him out of the mailbox in order to try and further deceive me. She doesn’t know that I know that as well. Nevertheless, I confronted her with everything the day after Kayla’s pre-school graduation and told her everything I knew and everything she tried to do to hide it from me. She confirmed most everything. I had given her three chances after I first confronted her but she only became more deceitful and sneaky. She said “I didn’t hear everything just part of the story”. Kayla and Abby, regardless of how retarded your mother & grandmother thought I was – I am far from it. I thought laying all my cards out on the table would make the whole process easier to deal with but I was soooooo wrong. I couldn’t live in a marriage like that where even my in-laws were in on the deceit. At one point your mom wanted me back so bad that I said “I’d consider it if we have a meeting with your family and you confess what really happened”. Well she did just that but it meant absolutely nothing – her entire family sat there in front of us and listened to her explanation and apology then later said “they didn’t believe her and that she only did that because she was desperate to get me back”. The next 8-9 years were hell – I had to take her to court for all kinds of game playing and violations of our divorce & custody agreement. She fragrantly and consistently violated – year after year pushed her luck and played games – anything to poison my relationship with both of you. She would buy you girls second hand clothes from thrift stores and similar places then would buy herself new clothes from Macy’s and Lane Bryant when she’d go out with her friends. She always had everyone watch you when she’d go out on weekends when you weren’t with me and only twice let me know so I could have extra time with you I always begged for. She rarely if ever kept me abreast of school activities in hopes I wouldn’t attend – so I spent extra time doing my best to find out myself. She even gave your elementary school a wrong email address (one letter conveniently off) in order to further frustrate my efforts to be involved in your lives. Your elementary school principal (Mrs. Corrie) even knew my name when I’d come in to get a pass to visit both of you and participate in school events. I used to come in all time to participate in class activities and have lunch with both of you and your friends all thought it was so cool that I’d come in to see you both. She even lied to her best friend that I stopped paying the mortgage and the house was being foreclosed on in order to get money or whatever – if Anna didn’t communicate with me to try and tell me off for not making the mortgage payments (which was a big fat lie) I’d never even know about that. Joe should talk to Anna for himself and he’ll see what a liar and manipulator your mother is. Do you remember how you asked me why I didn’t pay your Mom on time? (Because Kayla wanted to participate in some band related activity after school). Those were all lies – I always paid your mom on time – and for the 2-3 times I didn’t it was an extenuating or explainable circumstances. She’d have me in jail so fast words can’t describe. Your mother always did whatever she could do to damage our relationship – I paid her a fortune and she sat home instead of working or going back to school when you were both in school all day. Your mother would lie to the courts – get orders of protection against me and when I’d defend myself she was never able to follow through because she had no proof – it was all baseless lies. She went so far as to dream up a lie that there was a recording device inside of the big screen TV (that she gave to Rurik – the doctor she tried to woo over before she met your stepfather). She said I would eavesdrop on her conversations with others and people probably believed her. When she told me the story – and she had this way of half smirking when she’d talk anytime she knew the story was a lie – I was like OMG you’re nuts. At another point, she eluded to me that I did something to get her in trouble with the County but never told me what exactly – so I did a little investigating myself and found out that her old neighbor blew her in for welfare or food stamp fraud because the old guy couldn’t understand how a divorced mom who lived completely free in a quarter-million dollar home – didn’t work but had a brand new car, new clothes all the time and qualified for food stamps. Just examples of the kind of person I was dealing with all the years we were divorced. I’m not telling you this to contaminate your feelings for your Mom like she’s done to you with me. She will always be your mother just like I will always be your father. What happened between her and is our business – but any reasonable person would understand that the way you feel about me (apparently) didn’t happen because of reasonable truthful actions that took place. It happened out of years and years of parental alienation slowly being ratcheted up with tons of manipulation to a point of where you now actually believe the lies that have been served to you. Fast forward.. when I had you both for the last New Years we were together and you made such a feverous effort to “make sure you didn’t forget calling your mom” – I lost it and told you both how heart-broken I was that for years I begged and begged you to both call me or answer the phone when I’d call and it was always no big deal to “speak to dad” but to see how important it was to both of you to not forget to call her – well you get the idea, whether or not you choose to remember what actually happened. When you got back to her place and she did her weekend “debriefing” wow was that ever ammunition for her to really crank up the parental alienation. Her boyfriend (Joe) was already spending the night regularly – she told you both not to tell me (all terrible things you’re not supposed to do as a divorced parent). In the meantime I had an opportunity to do something totally different for a few months that was work related and with my 8 years of frustration and dealing with all the crap and how much the court system favors moms who get to do whatever they want I decided to take advantage of my out of town opportunity. Little did I know what was happening behind the scenes. The brainwashing was ratcheted up even more. Your mother even had Abby convinced that I tried to break into your house and when I was 30,000 feet in the air over the State of Virginia – a call from Abby went to my voice mail saying “what are you doing sneaking around the house – I see you outside you’re scaring me”. When I would call you at our agreed upon times it was always an issue – then you both started talking to me in the most abhorred manner. It was absolutely unbelievable to me. I already had a court action pending against your mother for violating our agreement of no one being allowed to live in the house that I paid for to benefit both of you – her then fiancé was sleeping there regularly and his son quite frequently – against our agreed to court order. My payments on James Court ONLY ended THIS FALL because she finally sold it to build the home off of Shimmerville Road that you’re supposedly living in now. I spoke to my lawyer and he definitely agreed that it was obvious that your mother had patently been involved in parental alienation activities. I amended my paperwork to include the charge of parental alienation – less than 6 months later – the judge agreed, my lawyer, the law guardian all agreed to move forward with a finding for parental alienation and forensic analysis to prove it. That was the pivotal point that your mother said no (because she knew how it would turn out), and said she would agree to stop raping me financially (and mentally) but I’d have to give up custodial rights to you. Of course the first thing I said was – are you crazy to my lawyer. I had already paid a king’s ransom to her what was another ten thousand dollars or more. Then he explained something to me. He said that it would be up to 3-4 more years of court and based on past cases he’s litigated – if I won – everything could still turn out to be status quo. In other words all this fighting and stress and stress for both of you to endure to just land up no where further. So I made the heartfelt decision to end the fighting. Then in the spring of 2017 I offered an olive branch to put everything behind us and she threw it in my face and basically said screw you and just sign the adoption papers. Well – here’s the conditions if she wants adoption papers signed. I first need a formal agreement that immediately will have the children meet once a week with their birth father and a professional therapist who specializes in reunification until he or she feels that it is appropriate for the children to spend one on one time with him alone. The cost to be split equally for the therapist. After 3 months of being able to meet with the children monthly and resuming normalized weekly communication over the phone (text or other acceptable electronic communications) – if the mother is acting in good faith as evidenced by her actions and to my satisfaction, I will then sign adoption papers formalizing this agreement just outlined – then the remaining provisions below will be added… The birth father will be able to call the children weekly to have normal conversation (as well as they may call him) and text (or use any other form of electronic communication mutually agreed to) in order to reestablish normal relations. The birth father will be welcome at public venues for graduations, dance recitals, school performances and church events as well. He can take the children to a public restaurant, movie or similar type of event locally – at least once a month for the evening to be returned at a reasonable time for school the next day. If school is not in session, they shall be returned by 10pm unless otherwise mutually agreed to. We will facilitate the re-establishment of the father – daughter relationship because this is in the best interest of the children. If any party fails to act in accordance with the spirit of the provisions set forth – they may return to surrogates court to have the order enforced at the expense of the party violating the agreement. So that’s my version of what happened and I have no more to say about it – believe it or not. I will not stop posting here, I will not stop loving you, I will be at your graduations and when you finally find it in your heart to welcome me back into your life- I am here. I don’t hold anything that you both said to me against you or the way you treated me disrespectfully – your mother should’ve never allowed it – it’s all on her. She obviously felt it was best to handle things the way she did but any child psychologist will tell you that the deep rooted damage it may have caused you both may be irreparable. I love you and it never has to be talked about again. One last thing – think about this – why would I throw everything away that was part of my life plan to risk not having you in my life? As you may have read in earlier posts – if I knew the court system was so slanted against non-deadbeat dads as much as it was – I would’ve stayed married in a loveless marriage just to have you both in my life. But obviously there’s not much I can do about that now. What your mother did for the entire 8 years while we were divorced – to our relationship is unforgivable. You have a right to have a relationship with your father and if anyone makes you feel guilty about that they should feel ashamed of themselves. Please also note, I understand the position you’re both in. If you even want to show interest in some kind of relationship with me – you’re probably afraid of the “fallout” you might experience from your mother and her extended family. You can reach out to guidance counselors at school for advice. I will always be here for you – literally in Williamsville – so please know you’re never alone.

8/26/17:  Hello dolls.  Can’t believe just a few years ago late last month we had our awesome family vacation in Pennsylvania and New Jersey – we had so much fun for that week – I think about it every year around this time since then (or whenever I hear Justin Bieber’s name or Taylor Swift’s). I hope Abby saw my birthday wishes on Facebook – I can’t believe you’re 12 years old now. Your last year before being a big teenager. You guys must be excited about your new house – the timing couldn’t of been better to get out of the old house – into the new and settled for another school year soon. Kayla you look extra pretty with your braces off – I bet you’re so glad to not have to deal with those anymore. But to be honest, I really enjoyed our special time alone to talk and laugh about anything and everything afterwards when we’d stop for lunch before I took you back to school. Hope you have a nice rest of the weekend. I found some pics of our weekend trips to get frozen yogurt from almost 3 years ago and one of our nice dinners out when we went to Friday’s (which I can’t believe is gone from Main & Transit).

6/17/17:  Hi girls.  Just wanted to post and say a few things. A friend of mine found Kayla on Instagram and was nice enough to  express what he’s been hearing me talk about for nearly two years. Your response was hard to believe (you’d think I was some type of evil dead beat Dad who never gave a crap about you and hardly acted like a loving Father). I also understand that some of your posts are quite “mature” for a 15 year old – not an image that in my opinion should be projected at any age less alone that of a young teen. Your comment about me choosing to not be a part of your lives  is very incorrect. Nevertheless, I reached out to your mom and asked if we could meet and put all the past behind us – there’s nothing helpful about carrying on animosity and vitriol hate – divorce is a horrible thing and puts terrible pressure on families everywhere. She was kind enough to respond and I’m hoping if she’s being sincere, we can meet by mid July because I’ll be doing some work related traveling and it’ll be more challenging to get together. Otherwise, I plan on answering, in detail, a question you asked me since you were 9 years old and that’s why did we ever divorce. In my opinion you were too young at the time to talk to about it – but obviously from what little I’ve heard – you’re not any longer. Enjoy your weekend and the beginning of summer.

5/28/17: Hello ladies … hard to believe it’s just over 2 years ago we were riding our bikes on the Clarence Bike path – I really miss all the family things we did together everytime we got together. I hope you two still ride a lot – I think we’re finally done with wintry weather if we could just get past all the rain lately.  Hope you’re enhoying the nice long weekend.  Oh – I forgot to tell you  – I got free tickets to see Pippin in Niagara Falls and except for a couple parts it was something you both would’ve really liked a lot I think.  Ok ttyl.

5/22/17: Hi Kayla and Abby!  This month is going so fast – barely a week left to go. I can’t believe Kayla will be a sophomore soon and Abby will be in her last year of middle school.  It’s nice since your big sister will be a junior she can give you all kinds of pointers to make it less scary than it would be otherwise. Of course Abby was always tough and would never admit being nervous or apprehensive. I was looking at some old pictures and saw some from when you guys brought Charlie over to spend the night – hope your little pup is doing well too .. he’s got to be almost 7 or 8 years old by now?  Pepsi is 50 years old in human years – still has bad breath but is cute as ever. It was this time of year that I had lunch with Abby – I wanted to post that picture and I saw a nice pic of the three of us I wanted to share too.  If you have any pictures you want to send me I’d love to see what’s going on with you.  Have a good week and never forget I love you and I can’t wait to see you.

<3
5/21/17:Hi ladies – I just realized that another school year is ending for you next month then it’s summer vacation time! I searched to see if either of you made honor or merit roll and I saw Abby did! I’m so happy and proud!! I remember how we’d go to Alethea’s for ice cream to celebrate occasions like that and I really miss our outings and chats. I always say little prayers that you are both happy and life is going well. I’ve been dreaming about you guys a lot lately and they’re so real – it’s like I can touch you. I miss our hugs. When you’re ready to talk again I want you to know that I’m not going to hold anything against you and I’m sorry if I offended you in anyway. I always thought how nice it would be for your mom to meet a nice guy who would love you as much as a step father could love you.  How lucky you could both be to be surrounded by all these people who care for you. I really want to be a part of your life now and forever. We share the same blood – so many similar characteristics and personality traits – things you probably don’t even realize. As you both grow up it’ll become more evident.  Reach out to me anytime you want – my phone numbers are the same – email at the school comes right to me – day or night. I love you two so much that my heart aches and you’ll always be welcome back into my life. Just say the word and I’m there. Much love – Dad.

5/01/17:Hi girls! Sorry I haven’t written lately. I’ve had a heck of a time with some business stuff that’s been sucking the life out of me. Things are under control again. Easter break ended recently, hope you had a nice time – you probably went out of town. Just because I don’t post weekly doesn’t mean I don’t think of you daily. Yes daily. I’m always reminded about things we’ve done together or I’ll pass restaurants we used to eat at. I was shocked that our favorite TGI Friday’s at Transit and Main closed down – we had many meals and good times there. I just found a box of cards you two made me from throughout the years – I can’t wait for the day I can show your kids how you use to plan and surprise me every weekend morning with elaborate mini-plays or games to start off my day. Those were really fun times and I hope you have fond memories of those time as well. Exactly 7 years ago today we all went to the SPCA in Tonawanda (which is moving now too I guess)- that was always fun to do too. Much love, Dad.

02/06/17: Happy Birthday Kayla, one more year and you’re legal to drive. I’m reposting this update, somehow I goofed something up (ugh) – I miss seeing you guys for your birthdays – even when you’d make fun of me for my birthdays (because I am soooooo darn old) lol. I was having these great dreams where I hugged you guys and it was sooo real then I’d wake up and be so happy for a few minutes until I realized it was a dream. I’m sure you had a nice birthday celebration – hope some good gifts too. Much love to both of you, Dad <3

12/24/16:It’s Christmas Eve. There’s been at least two dozen times I’ve wanted to post here and life kept getting in the way (but that doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about you). The holidays from before Thanksgiving through to the New Year we always did so many things. We had so many traditions. I hold them close to my heart and hope you both think about them from time to time with fond memories. You’ll find as you get older you tend to remember the good parts about people who were in your life and the things you did together. Facebook keeps reminding me of everything we did and it’s sometimes (well always) is hard to read but I still keep looking. Not sure if you ever remember back on the couch on Stahley I mentioned how I liked Dolly Parton since I was a kid.. well I finally saw her in concert a few weeks ago and it was pretty amazing how she could still perform and tell so many stories at the age of 74! Her stories reminded me of all the stories I would tell you two during our drives to see Grandpa Bill or Uncle Ryan & Corrie or even to Fantasy Island/Darien Lake. You’d both sit in awe as I’d summarize a movie I recently saw or even a show on TV. Those were good times. I hope you get everything you want for Christmas but especially have peace and love in your hearts. Love Dad

10/31/16:Sorry it’s been a while since I posted but it’s sure not because I haven’t thought about you two. As a matter of fact, I’ve been dreaming a lot about you guys some good and some, well. The State changed some regulations on me that caused a lot of extra work that I never expected so I had to deal with it on top of all the normal crazy that goes into running your own business. But wow, October and Halloween were times we really enjoyed – so many pictures I’ve run across and memories we’ve shared. I wonder what you dressed up like this year, maybe Kayla didn’t even dress up (who knows). I heard from a friend that teaches at the high school that Kayla is no longer involved with music 🙁 why?? You always enjoyed singing so much. Hopefully the transition with moving up at school has gone pretty well for both of you. I anticipate now that we’re approaching the quieter time of year I’ll be posting more frequently. I love you both so much. Here’s a couple of pics from October’s of recent past…

9/6/16:It’s already September! Labor Day weekend is over. I was cleaning the carpets over at the school getting ready for Fall classes – thinking about how you would always hang out with me there. It’s hard to believe my little Kayla starts high school this week! Abby starts Middle School…wow wow wow – lots of changes. Good luck this week with everything and I’ll say little prayers for smooth transitions. I’ll share some “end of summer memories” I ran across in the meantime. Love Dad.

8/8/16:A special hello and Happy Birthday Abby!! I can’t believe how it’s your birthday again. I really miss our birthday celebrations, it still hasn’t sunk in that I won’t be seeing you like we used to. Hopefully there’s a lot more calm in your life since your mother and I don’t go back and forth with each other like we did for so many years. Both you and your sister should’ve never been put in the middle of adult situations and hopefully some day you’ll understand and we can put all of this behind us. I never stopped loving either of you and hope you see this blog. Much love, Dad.

7/17/16:It’s hard to believe that we had our little family vacation just three years ago this weekend. We survived a week away to Philadelphia & New Jersey and it was such an incredible time. By survive I mean – through the Justin Bieber concert which Abby might now deny a star she was infatuated with. Every time I hear a Taylor Swift song I think of our time at her concert the next day. Hershey Park was so much fun too. Some of the best roller coasters the three of us ever went on were there. Kayla made me super proud for being so brave on some of those insane rides. I’m still burned out from the theme parks (we went sooooo many times every summer for over 7 years) but there’s a ton of great memories that came out of we’ll never forget. Enjoy the rest of your weekend. Much love… Dad.
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7/6/16:I ran across this picture from when we used to go to Home Depot on the first Saturday of the month to do crafts together. It’s hard to believe that 3 years have passed by so fast. I hope you two are enjoying the simple things in life still (like spending time together – playing board games, drawing/writing) and not just playing on your phones/ or the computer and watching TV, etc. Hope you had a nice Fourth of July – I went to a little party in Chautauqua and a lady there saved a baby raccoon whose mother got hit by a car. The baby raccoon was super cute. I wish you could’ve been there. Have a nice week, Love Dad.

6/23/16:Three years ago today we went to the beach for the first time of the season. Do you remember how beautiful it was walking down the nature path with the wooden bridge at Woodlawn Beach? It always reminded me of being far away from Buffalo like something you’d see in Florida with all the greenery. Just wanted you to know I was thinking of you. Love Dad

6/22/16:It’s the middle of the week already! It’ll be July before we know it. Facebook reminded me of a shopping visit we had today (4 years ago) where you both dressed up in all kinds of different outfits… playing dress up..do you remember? I’m sure the clerks didn’t appreciate reorganizing the clothes, lol. Your grandmother probably had the pool open by Memorial Day so hopefully you’re enjoying some good pool time. Have a nice day… much love… Dad

6/19/16:I couldn’t let the day pass without thinking about all the Father’s Days we’ve spent together. It seems weird to not see you two today. This was always one of my happiest days of the year (you’ll see Birthdays are no picnic after you hit 30). I burned some old paper and wood back in the bonfire pit and that brought back memories of all the nights we’d sit around the fire and tell stories and listen to music. Have a good week… Love you.. Dad

6/18/16:Happy Saturday! I was looking at the Clarence Bee online and saw TWO awesome articles about you both – congrats again to Kayla for making the honor roll!! I’m so proud of you for keeping up with your studies. Earlier this spring Abby was part of a food drive at her elementary school! Good going!! You’re getting so tall. You both make me so proud. Tomorrow I hope you guys think of me and the good times we’ve shared. I know I’ll be trying to stay positive and thinking of you. If you ever want to pick up the phone or send me an email I will gladly accept any communications from you with open arms. No talk of the past – no blaming anyone for anything. I just want to know that you’re happy inside and know I would never abandon you and I’m always here for you. One day you’ll be old enough to make decisions for yourself and that’s the day I look forward to. Much love, Dad.

6/16/16:Hi Ladies. School will be out soon, I bet you’re both really excited. The weather has been great and hopefully the summer continues being just as nice. Five years ago today I went for lunch to Abby’s elementary school. I always enjoyed sitting with you and your friends – you were all so cute (and verrrrrrrry talkative). There was always a smile on my face when I left. Visiting Kayla when she was at Harris Hill was just as great. When your teachers would invite parents in to read that was extra special to me as well. It’s hard to believe that my little little girl starts middle school in September and my other one starts high school!!! Enjoy your final days as the “senior students” at your schools and know I love and think about you everyday.

5/31/16:Wow! It’s the last day of May… I can’t believe how fast this month has gone by. 7 years ago today I took Abby horseback riding for the first time. Her head was sooooo little in comparison to that horse but she wasn’t scared at all. I remember Kayla’s first experience with a horse at Sprucemeadow Farms in Clarence. Kayla was always a little nervous about getting up close to the horses but eventually got comfortable with them – especially the eldest of the group there. We would make trips over in the late fall and Spring with carrots and apples and it was always fun feeding them. Eventually we stopped once Abby started developing an allergy to their hair, but it was fun while it lasted. Have a great week. 🙂

5/25/16:Hello Ladies! Just two years ago today we had an awesome bonfire and we found a baby bunny near the fire pit. We named “her” fuego (I think). I did a bunch of yard work over the last few days and it brought back a lot of memories of how we played frisbee and air-scoop ball in the backyard. In two days it will be Memorial Day Weekend. The weather’s going to be great. I hope you both get to enjoy some time outside. If you’re still doing dance it’s also dance recital time at a lot of schools. I love you guys and hope you find my blog.

5/10/16: Hi Abby! Two years ago today we were playing tennis. That’s the first spring we played after I taught you how how to play for the first time. 🙂 You were a natural. I’m glad you’re still playing. Hope school is going well. I love you girls so much.

5/9/16: Hi ladies! I found so many great pictures of you two again today. The garage is almost clean. When I’d see you on weekends (especially after cleaning) and I found some old pics of you, it seemed like you could care less. But I could tell that you got a kick out of seeing them every once in a while. You were both really little in these but they’re so cute. I hope school is going well – I can’t believe how soon this school year is coming to an end. Time goes so fast (you’ll see once you graduate). I love you and hope to see you soon.

5/5/16: I was thinking about you both today as I went through some old boxes. So many memories of the things we’ve done together- so many good times. Hopefully you think about me sometimes and remember the good times we shared. I google your names frequently in hopes of seeing something about you- whether it be something from your sporting activities, dance, school. I was excited to see Kayla’s honor roll mention for the first quarter of this school year….

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I am sooooo proud of you – it warms my heart!!! Keep up the good work and stay focused and happy. I hope Abby is still running she was really getting into that last year and the year before.